{Journey of Faith}

I'm on a journey of faith,
Embraced with hope and love,
Entwined with compassion and grace,
Held by the Father above.
-Megan Philp

{Picture Love}

We've been playing!

Playing with our camera....

Enjoying one dry day without rain...And playing with digital altered art...Below is a combination of pictures I took in Hawaii last year, made into a collage. The main focus of the green berries? Those are coffee beans in their most original form!! How cool is that?

And below is a shot of Lala's boots, with several layers of other photos for texture and vibrance.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend! I'm not sure what we are up to yet, but I'm sure it will be fun. The hubby is home and being together as a family is what counts!

Feeling relaxed,

Megan

{Waves and Breakers}

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life {Psalm 42:7-8}

Or, in the New Living Translation:

I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me. Through each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.

I have debated with myself about sharing an entry from my prayer journal with you. I offer this glimpse to you, as I feel led to share. We might have different things that we are crying out to God about in our lives, but I believe that this flowed from my pen not only for me, but for you. Please don't become distraught for me as you read, but welcome what the Spirit of God might want to say to you in YOUR heart and YOUR situation. After this time of prayer, I have had such a peace and gentleness surrounding me. I don't know how to describe it other than surrounded by His gentleness.

............................................................

Surrender.

O God, I ache, I ache. I struggle to free myself from the bonds of what I want. To completely release myself to what you want. Your will, Your plan. Surrender.

Longing...

...longing...

I'm longing for new life to grow inside of me. For the gently rounded tummy of new life. The newborn first cradled in my womb, then in my arms.

Aching...

...oh how I am aching...

My heart is throbbing with the pain of this hope continually deferred. Tears burn continually in the back of my eyes and throat. It has become a physical pain, this desire, this want. Dare I say this need?

Driven...driven to my knees...

...to prayer...

Ashamed that it takes struggle and pain to bring me to my knees in complete surrender. That it takes fierce need to come before you in complete submission.

I feel raw. Like I have been rubbed raw, the way pavement shreds away the skin on a deeply skinned knee. My insides exposed. And when that raw area is touched, I scream with pain inside.

It hurts Jesus. My heart hurts. I am raw Jesus, rubbed raw.

I have asked. Begged. Wailed. Pushed and pulled. Contrived. Striven to move your hand with my prayers, with your Word. If I could have forced you to move, would I have?

Repent...

...i repent...

I repent of the 'me'. My wants, my needs. Be it may a reasonable desire from an earthly perspective, from a heavenly perspective, what is it?

I come back to 'surrender'. You ask me to surrender

What does this mean? How does it look? Do I stop asking? Does the grieving stop? I don't think it will. And how long? How long do you ask me to surrender?

"Indefinitely."

Did you hear my heart gasp? Its sharp intake of breath? Indefinitely. Even if you choose to never return it to me. Indefinitely. Yours. Indefinitely not mine.

Indefinitely yours, even if this womb and these arms remain empty of another newborn- forevermore.

This tearing away of my will, how exposing.

How freeing.

With tears streaming I say "Not my will, but yours be done".

With heart breaking I say "Your Will, Your Plan".

In complete submission at your feet, I surrender.

I don't know how to live this day by day, or even moment by moment. Give me the grace to do so.

I surrender.

............................................

Let my prayer be counted as incense before you, and the lifting of my hands as the evening sacrifice!"{Psalm 141:2}

You keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. {Isaiah 26:3-4}

Flounder, ears, art, all in a drive by!

Oh my goodness.

I'm floundering!

I started a fun digital art class, and am so behind in what I would like to be doing, but I just can't find time enough. Laundry. Kids. Dishes. Ear infections...

My son came down with an ear infection, his first one ever. We realized what it was when his eardrum ruptured. Eardrum rupture ='s blood. Not fun. But not dangerous either. Little guy is doing MUCH better after a visit to the Dr and some antibiotics.

I want to post pictures, I want to show art, I want to do my giveaway! I've almost reached my 100th post. I should have hit it much sooner in my 18 months of blogging, but alas, my time off while I was sick put the xnay on that.

All this to say- Dear friends, stick around. Your comments and visits are something I adore!

{Giveaway soon, art soon, more stories on life and faith...all soon.}

Right now? I'm headed out to take photos, let this kids play outside in some brief sun that we are getting, and try to have a little fun! ;)

See me leaving now ? I'm not even letting myself post a photo, even though this post looks drab!

Gone like the wind!!!
-Megan

{delight yourself} exploring digital art

{As the Sun Sets}

The sun has set on 2009. Unfolding before us is a new year. A fresh start. We make plans, resolutions, determinations to change this or that. Eat less. Do more. And perhaps..."Be more like {insert name here...Julia Child, The Next Door Neighbor, Gandhi, Mother Theresa...}"

I think that the last statement is one where we too often get caught in a trap. It is good to esteem others, learn from their experiences, and take motivation from them to expand our creativity, try a new project, branch out in another area, or use their fabulous ideas. All good things. The trap lies in the subtle change in desire to be inspired by others lives, that can morph into thinking that their life is better than yours and wishing you WERE them.

This morning I found freedom. I felt the gentle whisper in my heart..."You are not meant to be anyone else. You are meant to be YOU." I do not have to feel guilt that I am not in a certian role or positon in ministry- God has not placed me there, it is not something to be at fault for. I was created for this time in history, to be me. To live in my house, in my city, in my state and country.

Oh how freeing. You see, with that comparision of SELF, we can also spiral into fear- "They had to walk through {such and such a trial or difficult time}...It must only be around the corner for ME to walk through also." But this is not true. Yes, anything can happen to anyone. But I will not have to walk through every single trial I hear others are going through! I will walk through my own darkness, yes, but it will be what I can bear, and some difficulty I can handle. If I had to walk through every-single-possible trial, I definately could not handle that.

And so the whisper in my soul continues "Be YOU. Embrace yourself and where I have placed you, and watch what happens. Watch the joy that ensues, the victory you find, the gifts you are given. Give me the freedom and room I need to bless you as I want to bless you."

Oh the joy of our own individuality. And so, I find the freedom to step forward and not envy what another has, looks like, or does. Because we are each blessed, and every one of us is a precious individual, in the life that we have been placed in with great thought and care.

My friends, take the time to resolve to be YOU this year!

Joyfully,

Megan

Happy New Year From the Pacific Northwest!

Happy New Year from our family to yours!! I pray that your year is filled with blessings that overflow, hope that springs eternal, and joy no matter what your circumstance!